Things to know about Tiny Cooper
- He’s not the world’s GAYEST person
- He’s not the world’s LARGEST person
- He may be the world’s largest person who is really, really gay
- He may be the world’s gayest person who is really, really large
- He falls in love every hour, on the hour
- He has had 3,900 boyfriends - half of them internet only
- When something awesome happens, Tiny is always the first to hear
- He lives in a mansion with the world’s richest parents
- He had about 11,542 girlfriends freshman year
- One of Tiny Cooper’s tears could drown a kitten
- No-one can drive as fast as Tiny can deteriorate
- Tiny Cooper can’t help but hurt you, he’s like a fairytale giant
- Tiny Cooper is his own goddamned man, and if he wants to be a gigantic skipper, then that’s his right as a huge American
- He has dimples the size of a baby’s head
- For a guy who knows absolutely nothing about how to conduct his own relationships, Tiny Cooper is kind of brilliant when it comes to dealing with other people’s heartbreak
- Tiny never shuts up
- He definitely exists
- He is just too fabulous to sweat
- If he’s next to you, you know it
- Tiny. Cooper. Hates. Over. The. Rainbow
TO BE CONTINUED
